Fae’s family spent the weekend with us, and we basically hung out, went swimming in the pool, grilled burgers, and watched TV. It was great just to be together and to relax. The kids asked several times during the weekend about celebrating Lughnasadh, but they got caught up in playing and, before we knew it, it was Sunday night. We almost didn’t do a ritual. But I realized (at the same time Fae and Matt did) that our kids will not absorb this stuff through osmosis. We need to provide experiences for them that will make them feel connected — to divinity, to one another, and to their own spirits.

Sunny and I settled in the east/air quarter, Fae and Aidan in the south/fire, Gillian in the west/water, and Matt in the north/earth. I whipped out my “magic box” and set up our usual altar tools. A bowl of unlit fragrant incense (for the smoke-allergic among us) sat in the eastern quarter, a black “illuminator” candle in the south, a silver bowl of water in the western quarter, and a silver cellar of salt in the north. In addition, each quarter held a candle in an appropriate color (yellow, red, blue, and green, respectively) to light as we called them in turn. To these, we added gold and silver candles for the god/desses, cakes (cookies, and a gluten-free marshmallow), and ale (lemonade).

First, we passed around the representations of the elements (except the “illuminator” candle — safety first) to experience each one in a visceral way, and to cast the circle. Each child made up an impromptu call for the quarter s/he held (Matt called Earth) as I lit the corresponding candle with the illuminator. Next, we invited a host of deities to join us, as everyone in the circle had a god or goddess (or two or five) to call.

At this point, I explained that our illuminator candle was black instead of the usual white one we used because black was a good color to represent banishing or letting go. We talked about the various meanings of Lughnasadh (the harvest, etc.) and turned our focus to letting go of regrets, guilt, and sorrow. Each of us got a chance to talk about the things we wanted to let go. The kids all shared, but we adults kept our woes to ourselves (see Fae’s recent post).

We held hands and concentrated on filling our circle with the energy of the things were were letting go. I could feel the pressure building as we clasped hands and poured energy into the circle. Finally, when we were ready, we counted to three and released the energy into the world, transforming it into peace and love. We all felt it burst upward out of the circle in a cool, refreshing rush of air. That was an amazing experience, and even more amazing for sharing it with the kids.

After toasting to health, wealth, joy and love, we drank our ale and ate our cakes, leaving a portion to return to the earth when the ritual was over. We opened the circle by visualizing its energy being pushed back and dissipating. Then the kids ran to pour the leftover cakes and ale outside — their favorite part.

I can’t believe I almost missed this opportunity. I regret all the other rituals I didn’t do with my kids. But Lughnasadh is, in part, about letting go of regret. All I can do is move forward keeping this experience in memory, both in my mind and in my heart.