While reading “New York Magazine” (I am addicted to the puzzles, and the articles are good too – we don’t live far from Manhattan, so the info is useful as well), I came across a comment about how when you type “I don’t” into the Google search engine, the autofill suggests “Why can’t I own a Canadian”. This piqued my interest enough to try it…sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me:)

The first page that came up was this one from 2002, and I’m totally cutting and pasting to share this, because I’ve never seen it and it made me fall over laughing. Many of you share my sense of humor, and I hope you’ll be as entertained as I was. Enjoy!

Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Note to Stumblers:

Some comments criticizing this piece indicate that it was “hijacked” from a West Wing episode. This is a chicken and egg argument in my opinion. I don’t really know which came first, and frankly don’t care. Below, for your enjoyment, is the clip in question.

Every Tuesday, Juniper and/or Fae will pick a great blog post from our  friends and write a paragraph about it. We’ll  include a link to their post in our paragraph. We’re going to invite you to do the same – find a post that you’ve found that moves you (and it doesn’t have to be from today, it can be an older post) and share it here. We’ll have a centralized list of of recommended posts here, and a button that can link us together. The group can grow and grow, we don’t have to limit the amount of recommended posts…but it would be a way for us to find incredible things to read, and remarkable people to meet, recommended by our peers, without having to surf for hours. The goal is all about sharing interesting posts, and interesting people. I doesn’t have to be limited to ANY topic, religion or ideology. We can’t wait to read what you find!

Here’s Fae’s pick this week:

Silvermoone at The Goddess Within has written a blog post called The Truth About F-E-A-R, which really hit the nail on the head for me. Recently, I won a personalized gift basket from Magickal Enchantments, and in building something just for me, I was asked what I’d like to have help with. I responded, “I’m extremely analytical, and have been through enough cognitive therapy to tell you what is at the root of any problem I’m having and every emotional/psychological/mental battle I’ve fought: Fear. I run. I escape. It’s what’s built into my core, it’s the coping mechanism I’ve used to survive, and it’s what I need to stop. Although I work every day to evolve, it’s a bit of a two steps forward-one step back situation. I just find another way to run.” When I read Silvermoone’s post, I almost had to smile…when a subject like this repeatedly emerges for me, it’s usually a note from my psyche telling me it’s time to delve deeper. Her analytical nature touches upon aspects and insights I can not only relate to, but utilize in my own evolution.

I love the clarity and thoughtfulness and depth with which she writes, and wanted to share this with you. I hope you find it as insightful as I did!

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So here’s what you do…if you’d like to read the post,  click through to The Goddess Within and read the article. If you’d like to leave comments for her, feel free!

If you have a friend whose post you want to share, here’s how you do it…(look at my post as an example if you have any questions…it’s easier than it looks:)

If you have any suggestions on streamlining my directions below, please let me know! Although it’s not difficult to do, it looks complex, even to me!

1. Write a paragraph or two about your friend’s post  in your blog. Include link to the post (not the main blog) you’re writing about so your friends can click through to it and read it themselves.

2. Name your post “TurnAround Tuesday – [and then the name of your friend's blog]“.  Look at the name of my post today for an example.

3. Copy and paste the code below at the bottom of the post you’ve just written. This code will put a button on the bottom of your post so the readers can join Turnaround Tuesday if they wish. Then publish your post!

4. After posting, come back here and fill out the Widget below the button with the following information:

Link Title: Name of your friends’ post (the post title, not the blog name).

Email Address: YOUR email address (it won’t show on the page, don’t worry).

Link URL:  Copy and paste the link to your Turn-Around Tuesday post, not your main website.

5. Hit the ‘Submit Link’ button.

That’s it!

I’ve had so many wonderful responses and incredible support through sharing the ongoing saga of getting a 504 passed in our school system to legally protect Gillian by setting up rules and parameters to be followed while in school. I’m very grateful for all the support! I’ve also reached parents who’s kids also have Celiac, who didn’t know that their children had rights…being able to actually help people in one way or the other has always been the driving force for me putting it all out here on the web, the good, bad and ugly.

I was prompted to write a response that turned itself into a post, and as I was writing it I realized that an update was needed, because I really left things hanging in the last post about being “outed” in my community through the school system finding links to my site in the process of doing their own homework in helping to prepare our daughter’s 504. I haven’t written for a while, I got a little spooked at the prospect of having my neighbors on the blog, and I suddenly found myself holding back…which is a little silly, especially considering the plethora of past posts in which to peruse (a little alliteration to lighten things up:))  After all, sharing the intimacies of my life with virtual friends puts no risk to my children or my husband. I can handle judgment, if it comes my way, from cyberspace. The possibility of my writings having a direct effect on my kids is a whole different story. I think I was ducking and covering my head to wait and see if the shrapnel was going to hit….but of course things like this don’t explode in upper-middle class suburbs. They spread and mutate, like in a game of ‘Telephone”.  Actually, the diffusion usually happens *during* the adult version of “Telephone”, doesn’t it?

I actually found out that the school board had found our blog through checking my stats, and seeing the search strings from search engines that had been clicked through to our site on in the week before our meeting. There are certainly a lot of blogs (and topic specific) sites out there, 99% of which are much more informative than my own, limited to my experiences with Gillian. This is why I found the whole thing remarkable. I believe they clicked through to this site because my name – and Gillian’s – were visible in the blurb below the titles that were displayed. Through the search strings, they were clicking directly onto our posts about Celiac and 504 plans.