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An Open Letter to God, from Michael Moore

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Dear God,

The other night, the Rev. James Dobson’s ministry asked all believers to pray for a storm on Thursday night so that the Obama acceptance speech outdoors in Denver would have to be cancelled.

I see that You have answered Rev. Dobson’s prayers — except the storm You have sent to earth is not over Denver, but on its way to New Orleans! In fact, You have scheduled it to hit Louisiana at exactly the moment that George W. Bush is to deliver his speech at the Republican National Convention.

Now, heavenly Father, we all know You have a great sense of humor and impeccable timing. To send a hurricane on the third anniversary of the Katrina disaster AND right at the beginning of the Republican Convention was, at first blush, a stroke of divine irony. I don’t blame You, I know You’re angry that the Republicans tried to blame YOU for Katrina by calling it an “Act of God” — when the truth was that the hurricane itself caused few casualties in New Orleans. Over a thousand people died because of the mistakes and neglect caused by humans, not You.

Some of us tried to help after Katrina hit, while Bush ate cake with McCain and twiddled his thumbs. I closed my office in New York and sent my entire staff down to New Orleans to help. I asked people on my website to contribute to the relief effort I organized — and I ended up sending over two million dollars in donations, food, water, and supplies (collected from thousands of fans) to New Orleans while Bush’s FEMA ice trucks were still driving around Maine three weeks later.

But this past Thursday night, the Washington Post reported that the Republicans had begun making plans to possibly postpone the convention. The AP had reported that there were no shelters set up in New Orleans for this storm, and that the levee repairs have not been adequate. In other words, as the great Ronald Reagan would say, “There you go again!”

So the last thing John McCain and the Republicans needed was to have a split-screen on TVs across America: one side with Bush and McCain partying in St. Paul, and on the other side of the screen, live footage of their Republican administration screwing up once again while New Orleans drowns.

So, yes, You have scared the Jesus, Mary and Joseph out of them, and more than a few million of your followers tip their hats to You.

But now it appears that You haven’t been having just a little fun with Bush & Co. It appears that Hurricane Gustav is truly heading to New Orleans and the Gulf coast. We hear You, O Lord, loud and clear, just as we did when Rev. Falwell said You made 9/11 happen because of all those gays and abortions. We beseech You, O Merciful One, not to punish us again as Pat Robertson said You did by giving us Katrina because of America’s “wholesale slaughter of unborn children.” His sentiments were echoed by other Republicans in 2005.

So this is my plea to you: Don’t do this to Louisiana again. The Republicans got your message. They are scrambling and doing the best they can to get planes, trains and buses to New Orleans so that everyone can get out. They haven’t sent the entire Louisiana National Guard to Iraq this time — they are already patrolling the city streets. And, in a nod to I don’t know what, Bush’s head of FEMA has named a man to help manage the federal government’s response. His name is W. Michael Moore. I kid you not, heavenly Father. They have sent a man with both my name AND W’s to help save the Gulf Coast.

So please God, let the storm die out at sea. It’s done enough damage already. If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to invoke your name again. I’ll leave that to the followers of Rev. Dobson and to those gathering this week in St. Paul.

Your faithful servant and former seminarian,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

P.S. To all of God’s fellow children who are reading this, the city New Orleans has not yet recovered from Katrina. Please click here for a list of things you can do to help our brothers and sisters on the Gulf Coast. And, if you do live along the Gulf Coast, please take all necessary safety precautions immediately.

A lifetime in search of solace
To wrap around me like a blanket
Wrapped in the arms of safety
Armed with the love I fail to give myself
Failure spurned by the proof that I am unloveable
Or proof and guarantee that one day my love will see me as I am
Alone
Unlovable
In need of solace
That cannot be received from outside myself
And knows not how to be given
From within

From T. Boone Pickens:

NBC is refusing to run one of our strongest ads, and I need your help in showing NBC they can’t control what we can or cannot say.

The 15-second ad talks about how the government of Iran is making a MAJOR effort to use natural gas in their vehicles so they can free up $120 a barrel oil to sell to us while we are doing nothing.

I need you to click on the link, watch the ad, then send it to five of your friends. Please ask each of those five people to send it on to five of THEIR friends.

This is important. Let me know what you think.

         — T. Boone Pickens

I’ve been chasing my tail for 15 years trying to keep up with scrapbooking memories of my life since meeting Matt. I did really well until around 2001, and then the pictures started piling up. Around a week ago I started up again – had to buy some more paper and tape runners – but I’ve been plodding along, trying to remember the chronology of all these moments in time. Thank goodness for the Klonopin. It’s like sitting in the middle of a jigsaw puzzle. A really complicated one.

I started this project out with Creative Memories, and I contacted one of their reps recently to find albums matching the ones I started using in 1994 – of course they’re all out of print, but I’d like them to match.  Buying this stuff on Ebay is more expensive and less reliable than getting it through the rep… People are selling out-of-print items for unbelievable amounts of money.

So she found me several albums at the original price, and I’ve got my pictures since 2002 all in electronic form, so I can upload them to Snapfish and have them printed out locally to be picked up. Here’s the problem…Creative Memories now has a way to create albums electronically, cutting and pasting, making everything look a hundred times better than I can cutting away by hand. It would also save *hundreds* of hours of scrapbooking. As far as a time-saving tool, there’s no question that it’s the way to go. The downside is that I’d need to buy sets for Hanukkah, Christmas, and something Yule-escent:) We celebrate them all.

But I started this project as something to pass down to my children. Every page has been painstakingly put together. Sometimes I get in a rut, and the styles don’t vary much, but my hands have been on every part of every page. 

Do I go the fast and easy way (which will actually look better, probably more creative, plus there will be a lot more commentary, as my writing sucks, so there’s not a lot in the ones I made by hand), or do I plod on and create something completely original by hand? Will it be appreciated? Am I doing this for me, or for them?

Insights would be helpful:)

P.S. – On the subject…I’m ordering a billion dollars of Creative Memories stuff (goddess help my bank account) to do everything I’ll need to do to catch up before deciding whether or not to go electronic. If you should need a corner cutter or anything from there, let me know and I’ll put it in my order. I can have it shipped to your home.

As promised, I spent the weekend AFK. Saturday, the kids were still away with my parents, so Leo and I spent the day in Central Park. We parked our butts in a couple of lounge chairs and read (who, me?). We also watched a couple of softball games going on around us — we were on the Great Lawn right by all the baseball diamonds. I took a nap while Leo listened to the ball game on his little transistor radio. All in all, a GREAT day. We had dinner at this little place on the upper west side called the Popover Cafe — highly recommended, if priced a bit more than average — and had fantastic vegetarian chili with yogurt instead of sour cream and low-fat cheddar cheese. Their popovers come with this amazing strawberry butter. I had two, thank you very much.

The kids came home late that night, and the next day went to a baseball game with Leo. All day. They left at 9 in the morning and didn’t come home until after 8 at night. I had a glorious day on my own. You bet your ass I slept late. I made myself a lovely brunch, including these great little feta-and-caramelized-onion puff pastries from Trader Joe’s. I sat out in my peaceful backyard for a while, absorbed in a great book (Last Argument of Kings, the third installment in a fantasy series by Joe Abercrombie). When it got too hot, I went inside and sat in my favorite chair with a cup of tea, and finished the book. “Relaxing” doesn’t do it justice.

The kids are home with me this week. It’s time to start getting ready for school. [Sigh] The lazy days of summer are almost gone. I’m going to be smart about school shopping this year. We’re reusing a lot of the binders and pencil cases and stuff from last year. The kids don’t need any more clothes right now (Sunny has a new wardrobe compliments of Continental Airlines). Sandy just needs a new pair of sneakers, and he’s set until the cold weather comes in. In the meantime, I’m trying to get used to the idea of having to get up at 7 in the morning again. ‘Cause you KNOW how much I love mornings. [Snort]