I am so in love with my kids…
Our kids have had very little problems with being teased or castigated for their religion, although the knowledge that we’re Wiccan is not widespread in our community. We have had several parents in our neighborhood stop allowing their children to visit our home, but there’s been no comment to our kids by their peers as to why. It hasn’t seemed to phase Aidan and Gillian much, they’ve got lots of friends, most of which don’t know we’re Wiccan (yet). I fear that may change soon.
Because I’ve been worried about the possible social ramifications (to our children) of my ‘jumping out of the broom closet’, I’ve been thinking very hard about how to prepare them. My thought process is that having someone yell ”Your mother is a witch!” might be jarring and upsetting for them. Many parents in our situation might just ignore the subject, in the chance that a confrontation wouldn’t occur. I think that I would be remiss in not preparing the kids. Even though nothing may ever be said to them, I believe that they should have the tools to handle it if and when it does occur. When kids tease, and they say something that’s not true, it’s easy to shrug off. When it IS true, it tends to hit home. The thought that my kids might be led to think there’s something wrong with their belief system – when I could have given them the tools to not take it personally – isn’t proactive, or acceptable to me.
A few years ago, I would have immediately sat the children down and anxiously lectured for hours about the close-mindedness of people who follow organized religions, and how and why those people are taught that Paganism is nasty or bad. In my own experiences of learning, and practicing my spirituality, I’ve realized that lecturing them that way would continue the legacy of religious intolerance that plagues our society. I would have passed along the same bigotry from which I’m trying to protect them. I can’t change other people, I can’t control what they learn, or what they choose to do or say. I can, however, teach my own kids religious tolerance. I can accentuate the similarities between all religions. I can teach them to respect that other people have the right to their beliefs, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else in the name of that belief. I’m hoping that in modeling respect for others, respect might be returned. My expectations are low, but I’ve got to remain optimistic.
I asked the kids, separately, what they would do if someone teased them, or called them a witch. Aidan’s response (he’s eleven) was a cavalier shrug, and a “so”? For some reason, even though he seems to worry a lot about being picked on at school, he’s very secure in his spirituality. Gillian’s inclination, after a moment’s hesitation and reflection, was to give a very calm explanation of what Wicca is, and how it’s very similar to other religions, and how we’re worshipping the earth, how could that be bad?.
Neither of them seemed concerned about the prospect of confrontation, but I don’t think that the possibility of it had ever occurred to Gillian, who’s never had an issue like this arise in her eight years – she’s a social butterfly. It was a small conversation, I kept it light and mentioned it conversationally, but I feel like the seed of preparation has been planted . That’s all I really wanted to do.
